Q&A: Am I Addicted to a Person?

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Dear Bethany,

Okay, I'll start with this, I think I am addicted to my on-again-off-again ex...

I can't stop thinking about him, I feel really happy and relaxed around him, and he is the one true source of happiness for me...is this some kind of addiction? Or an overdependent love? I know I can't be with him right now, but I need to sort this out before he comes back…

Sincerely,

Addicted to a person?

 

 

Dear Addicted,

Let me rip off the Band-Aid and tell it to you straight: you are co-dependent, not addicted. Kinda the same thing, but not. Like you said he is your one true source of happiness, which is usually a sign of unhealthy love and relationship. You are trying to fill in a void within yourself with your ex. That is not healthy. 

A significant other should add to your life, not fill in a void so you can feel whole. He is a human being, not a crutch. Learn to be happy and relaxed on your own. Also, do the kind thing and let him go and move on. The thoughts will eventually stop, I suggest picking up a hobby that fulfills you. 

Best, 

Bethany

 

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BETHANY KILLEN - RESIDENT ADVICE COLUMNIST & SEX THERAPIST

Bethany Killen (she/her), whose time spent finding ways to navigate through her own personal struggles led her to pursue a career in social work.

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